Author
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Topic: Newbie Commencement Address
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Master Don Juan
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posted 03-13-2002 12:11 PM
I'd like to be among the first to welcome you to the Don Juan Discussion Forum. Whatever circumstances have led you here, just realize that if you pay attention to the guys around here and read the DJ Bible and live the DJ life... you will be a changed man. Your life is about to get bigger and more interesting and more fun and more happy. I want to be the first to congratulate you on simply being here. It is a bold first step. On the DJ discussion forum, we toss around phrases, words, and abbreviations that probably seem kind of foreign to you. So let me help you out with a few notable ones. AFC: Average frustrated (or f*cking) chump. This is the "stereotypical nice guy", the guy who lets himself be treated like a doormat. He lives his life around women, and is typically miserable. He showers women with attention and gifts and does everything he can think of to make a girl happy, and cannot understand why he keeps getting sh*t on. DJ: Don Juan. That's you, or what you are about to become. The DJ is not the "nice guy" nor is he the "jerk". He is the "good guy", somewhere in between. He has his life together, knows what he wants, is confident and motivated. He is charming, charismatic, and fun to be around. He loves women but does not let them walk on him. Neg Hit: An insult used on an extremely hot chick who needs to be taken down a peg or two because she is convinced that her sh*t doesn't stink. It is usually about something physical, and about which she may have some sort of an insecurity, such as hair or feet. It should also be done in a semi-joking way, so that she is unsure if you are serious or not. Kino: Light, non-sexual touching. For example, touching a girl on her shoulder or on her hand. We are all physical creatures, and a girl notices when she is being touched. It will often lead her to notice you more, and her reaction to your touch is often a good indication of her interest in you. LJBF: "Let's Just Be Friends". Those dreaded words, right up there with "You're Just Like a Brother To Me." Typically, when a girl says this, it's game over, time to move on. You are in the unholy "friend zone" -- a difficult place to get out of. c*ckblocker: Someone, either a guy or a girl, who interferes with your attempts to seduce a woman and tries to ruin your chances. Sunshine Girl: A chick who is happy and flirtatious and acts as though she is interested, but then acts offended when you hit on her or ask her out. See attention wh*re. Attention Wh*re: A woman who is constantly out for attention, and will play you along while you are giving her the attention she craves. All women are attention wh*res to varying degrees. Gold digger: Basically just a regular garden-variety wh*re. She is in the relationship with you so that you will buy her things and spend money on her. She isn't really interested in you, just your loot. Monkey Girl: A girl who swings from boyfriend to boyfriend like a monkey swings from different branches: not letting go of one until she has a firm grip on another. Most girls are like this to varying degrees. The DJ Bible: An excellent collection of important posts compiled by DJ legend Neophyte. If you have any questions, you will often find your answer in the DJ Bible. There is a link to the bible at the top of this and all other screens on the forum. NEXT: Getting rid of one chick for whatever reason (she is flaky, she is annoying, she has low interest, she disrespects you, whatever) and moving on to the NEXT chick. Used as a verb, as in, "I nexted her." I think that covers most of the commonly-used terms. Now I want to say a few words about the advice on this forum. There are some people who are kind, gentle souls, who will attempt to tell you in the nicest possible way that you are an idiot and you're making rookie mistakes. Then there are others, who will remain nameless, that will actually try to beat the information into your cranium. They do this for the same reason the Army does it. We put you through hell so that when you finally get out there in the real battlefield, you are ready to tackle whatever comes your way. Do not take it too personally. Overall, we think that the fact that you are here in the first place means that you have one of the major DJ prerequisites: the willingness and the desire to improve yourself. So welcome aboard, and welcome to your new life. ------------------ CASANOVA "You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you." Eric Hoffer "I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it." Voltaire "Before we set our hearts too much upon anything, let us examine how happy those are who already possess it." Francois de La Rochefoucauld [This message has been edited by Giovanni Casanova (edited 03-13-2002).] [This message has been edited by Giovanni Casanova (edited 03-18-2002).] IP: 206.98.14.30 |
Master Don Juan
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posted 03-13-2002 12:32 PM
Welcome, newbies! Now drop and give me fifty! Your mommas ain't here to wipe your ass no more!Time to become a man. It ain't gonna be easy. You're gonna feel the AFC creeping back in, and when it does, we're here to beat it out of you. If you think you can handle it, stick around, otherwise, get out now, go back to your momma's teat, and cry for the rest of your life about how nobody loves you. Good. Now that the pu$$ies are gone... And another thing girls, read the stuff on here before you start asking questions. You're probably gonna find your answers without having to waste all that time and space. Revielle at 0500. ------------------ "For anybody who's on the downside of advantage and relying purely on courage... it's possible." - Russell Crowe IP: 24.160.253.153 |
Don Juan
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posted 03-13-2002 12:35 PM
What about "IMO" and "lol". What do they stand for?IP: 216.62.90.140 |
Master Don Juan
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posted 03-13-2002 12:39 PM
quote: Originally posted by KCFlyer: What about "IMO" and "lol". What do they stand for?
I was talking about newbies to the DJ forum, not newbies to the whole internet. IMO means In my opinion. Often expressed as IMHO, meaning In My Humble Opinion. lol means laughing out loud. OMG means oh my god. j/k means just kidding. WTF means what the f*ck. rofl means rolling on the floor laughing. roflmao means rolling on the floor laughing my ass off. jeaomk means just ejaculated all over my keyboard. (courtesy of The Onion) ------------------ CASANOVA "You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you." Eric Hoffer "I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it." Voltaire "Before we set our hearts too much upon anything, let us examine how happy those are who already possess it." Francois de La Rochefoucauld Did I say something that offended you? Click here [This message has been edited by Giovanni Casanova (edited 03-13-2002).] IP: 206.98.14.30 |
Master Don Juan
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posted 03-13-2002 12:44 PM
Another acronym:RTFB - Read the focking Bible. Often heard in response to questions like "How do I get this girl to like me" or "How do I talk to this girl" or "When do I call this girl". ------------------ Chicks don't think. Chicks feel. IP: 65.207.101.212 |
Master Don Juan
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posted 03-13-2002 12:49 PM
OK, newbies, Welcome to the Show!Like GC said, we are here to transform you from AFC to DJ in the quickest, most pain-free way possible. Harsh responses may not seem pain-free at first, but trust me, it's for your own good. Grasping the concepts here will transform you in ways you never thought possible; but you MUST APPLY THE TECHNIQUES WRITTEN HERE! It's gonna be a fun ride! Gipper ../../../ubb/Forum1/HTML/012110.html ------------------ "There's nothing wrong with letting the girls know you're money, and that you want to party. -Trent, from "Swingers" "Keep your girlfriend away from me, Just advice I’m giving you for free, Wanna have every thing I see, So keep your girlfriend away from me..." -Local H, from "Here Comes The Zoo" IP: 208.62.41.34 |
Master Don Juan
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posted 03-13-2002 12:54 PM
quote: Originally posted by Gipper: OK, newbies, Welcome to the Show!Like GC said, we are here to transform you from AFC to DJ in the quickest, most pain-free way possible. Harsh responses may not seem pain-free at first, but trust me, it's for your own good. Grasping the concepts here will transform you in ways you never thought possible; but you MUST APPLY THE TECHNIQUES WRITTEN HERE! It's gonna be a fun ride! Gipper ../../../ubb/Forum1/HTML/012110.html
Jesus, Gip, I should have been paying more attention. You already had a similar post up. It's just that all these people keep having their lower lip quiver and get all teary-eyed whenever I reply to their posts, so I thought maybe they needed to realize why we do what we do.
------------------ CASANOVA "You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you." Eric Hoffer "I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it." Voltaire "Before we set our hearts too much upon anything, let us examine how happy those are who already possess it." Francois de La Rochefoucauld Did I say something that offended you? Click here IP: 206.98.14.30 |
Master Don Juan
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posted 03-13-2002 12:57 PM
quote: Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova: Jesus, Gip, I should have been paying more attention. You already had a similar post up. It's just that all these people keep having their lower lip quiver and get all teary-eyed whenever I reply to their posts, so I thought maybe they needed to realize why we do what we do.
No problemo, GC. Like a teacher of mine once said, "Comprehension comes from repetition." Let's keep beating it into their heads until they get it! Gipper ------------------ "There's nothing wrong with letting the girls know you're money, and that you want to party. -Trent, from "Swingers" "Keep your girlfriend away from me, Just advice I’m giving you for free, Wanna have every thing I see, So keep your girlfriend away from me..." -Local H, from "Here Comes The Zoo" IP: 208.62.41.34 |
Master Don Juan
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posted 03-13-2002 03:27 PM
Yo, MODS:How about bumpin' Gipper's original post into some kind permanent post so newbies will see it immediately upon entering this domain? ------------------ Women only pretend to be better so that they can get some magic! IP: 65.171.131.98 |
Master Don Juan
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posted 03-13-2002 03:33 PM
quote: Originally posted by ACTION: Yo, MODS:How about bumpin' Gipper's original post into some kind permanent post so newbies will see it immediately upon entering this domain?
It should go in the DJ Bible, and then they can see it right at the beginning. ------------------ CASANOVA "You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you." Eric Hoffer "I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it." Voltaire "Before we set our hearts too much upon anything, let us examine how happy those are who already possess it." Francois de La Rochefoucauld Did I say something that offended you? Click here IP: 206.98.14.30 |
Master Don Juan
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posted 03-13-2002 03:47 PM
quote: Originally posted by Gipper: No problemo, GC. Like a teacher of mine once said, "Comprehension comes from repetition."
One thing to keep in mind tho newbie, this idea, this concept will protect your health, body and mind. It is: Watch women's actions. Do their words match their actions? That is it! The DJ website just repeats this over and over. (Life is all about taking care of yourself.) 'Cause we all know women like to talk. LOL [This message has been edited by dorian_gray-from.usa (edited 03-13-2002).] IP: 164.58.10.126 |
Master Don Juan
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posted 03-13-2002 03:55 PM
quote: Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova: It should go in the DJ Bible, and then they can see it right at the beginning.
Hey GC, maybe we can combine it with yours to give the newbies a complete intro (with the abbreviations and all). Of course, a lot of them still aren't reading too much before they start asking questions, but we can dream! Gipper ------------------ "There's nothing wrong with letting the girls know you're money, and that you want to party. -Trent, from "Swingers" "Keep your girlfriend away from me, Just advice I’m giving you for free, Wanna have every thing I see, So keep your girlfriend away from me..." -Local H, from "Here Comes The Zoo" IP: 208.62.41.34 |
Master Don Juan
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posted 03-15-2002 08:48 AM
quote: Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova: It should go in the DJ Bible, and then they can see it right at the beginning.
You're right. But as evidenced by the lack of attention "newbies" pay to the DJB, putting it boldly "In Your Face!" might do the trick. Like the Gipper said, put it in both. ------------------ Women only pretend to be better so that they can get some magic! IP: 65.171.131.98 |
Master Don Juan
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posted 03-15-2002 12:51 PM
Gio - Put a link to this thread in your signature...anytime an obivious first-timer asks a question about semantics or acronyms, you can just say "click below"Or put it right at the top of your signatures with a label saying "DJ Definitions HERE" IP: 24.154.55.9 |
Master Don Juan
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posted 03-15-2002 01:02 PM
quote: Originally posted by PoachR75: Gio - Put a link to this thread in your signature...anytime an obivious first-timer asks a question about semantics or acronyms, you can just say "click below"Or put it right at the top of your signatures with a label saying "DJ Definitions HERE"
There is a link to this post in my signature... just in case I offend anyone. ------------------ CASANOVA "You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you." Eric Hoffer "I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it." Voltaire "Before we set our hearts too much upon anything, let us examine how happy those are who already possess it." Francois de La Rochefoucauld Did I say something that offended you? Click here IP: 206.98.14.30 |
Master Don Juan
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posted 03-15-2002 02:52 PM
quote: Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova: There is a link to this post in my signature... just in case I offend anyone.
You have offended my family, and you have offended the Shaolin temple... ------------------ Women only pretend to be better so that they can get some magic! IP: 65.171.131.98 | |