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Author Topic:   rejected by girl in class; how should I have responded?
nibun

Don Juan
posted 02-27-2002 09:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for nibun     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I've talked to this girl a couple times in class, and we seem to be getting along okay. So today I asked her after class if she wanted to do something fun on Thursday night. And she just replied: "I'm sorry, I'm going to be really busy with homework." I didn't even get a chance to say what I had in mind. At this point I am quite sure this girl had no interest in me. I was being a bit AFCish, and said "oh, ok that's cool" and left.

How should I have better responded?

Keep in mind we're gonna see each other in class, it's going to be a bit awkward from now on. Any tips on how to deal with it?

IP: 24.205.233.151

Page

Don Juan
posted 02-27-2002 09:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Page     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
forget her and move on. There's other girls in your school, right?

IP: 199.182.111.74

radioactive

Master Don Juan
posted 02-27-2002 09:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for radioactive     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You response was indifferent and cool in a way.

Like Page says forget her and move on and don't let her presence bother you or your behaviour. Flirt with every other girl when she's around though.

IP: 213.51.187.176

BasicInstinct

Don Juan
posted 02-27-2002 09:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BasicInstinct   Click Here to Email BasicInstinct     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You could have said something like, "Your loss". When you see her in class, just ignore her and pretend she doesn't exist. Talk to other girls, make it seem like it didn't affect you at all.

------------------
Always outnumbered, never outgunned.

IP: 65.43.102.68

Amlothi

Don Juan
posted 02-27-2002 09:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Amlothi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Don't let it be awkward. Be a man about it! So she didn't want to do something on Thursday, big deal. I wouldn't go out of my way to talk to her either. Be polite, but don't initiate conversation - that's what I'd do.

Also, I think it's better if you ask for her number instead of just asking her out then and there. That's just my opinion though.

When you do ask her out though, always be specific about what it is. Say, "Hey you want to go see blahblahblah play in concert on thursday night?" instead of "do you want to do something fun?"

Hope that helps.

------------------
"There are no such things as mixed signals when it comes to women, there is reality and what the guy wants to be reality." - Don Phenom

IP: 130.215.226.1

laskoe

Master Don Juan
posted 02-27-2002 09:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for laskoe   Click Here to Email laskoe     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by nibun:
I've talked to this girl a couple times in class, and we seem to be getting along okay. So today I asked her after class if she wanted to do something fun on Thursday night. And she just replied: "I'm sorry, I'm going to be really busy with homework." I didn't even get a chance to say what I had in mind. At this point I am quite sure this girl had no interest in me. I was being a bit AFCish, and said "oh, ok that's cool" and left.

How should I have better responded?

Keep in mind we're gonna see each other in class, it's going to be a bit awkward from now on. Any tips on how to deal with it?


Joke with her say "what are you looking at"


just dont let things be akward ,it all starts in your mind. if she sees that your sad or acting like you been shot then she will naturaly ack awkward too.

believe me you didnt loose any thing. just learn some more Dj- principals.

figure out what your doing wrong.
to get better help, ask better questions.
put in the details such as what you have done with this girl prior to asking her out.

you can get almost any girl you want.



------------------
"If you overdo Anything with a girl, you are mostlikely an AFC" Laskoe

IP: 205.188.199.156

nibun

Don Juan
posted 02-27-2002 09:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for nibun     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I guess it wasn't as much the words I said as how I said it. I DID sound a little disappointed. Know any phrases I can use to play it off like it was nothing? How about "Oh! You're having one of those (busy) weeks too? I had mine last week. Anyway, c-ya." Only works for this excuse though.

I wouldn't want to say anything negative like "your loss" since she'll definitely know that it got to me. I also wouldn't want to be blatantly rude to her in class. I like Amlothi's approach to this.

IP: 24.205.233.151

radioactive

Master Don Juan
posted 02-27-2002 09:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for radioactive     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by nibun:
I wouldn't want to say anything negative like "your loss" since she'll definitely know that it got to me. I also wouldn't want to be blatantly rude to her in class.

You confuse being cocky with being rude.

IP: 213.51.187.176

BasicInstinct

Don Juan
posted 02-27-2002 10:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BasicInstinct   Click Here to Email BasicInstinct     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Radioactive is right. Saying "your loss" is simply letting her know that she is missing out on having a good time with the best DJ at your school (which is you, correct?)

Don't be rude to her, just ignore her. There are other girls out there!

------------------
Always outnumbered, never outgunned.

IP: 65.43.102.68

nibun

Don Juan
posted 02-27-2002 10:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for nibun     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
*L* I changed my mind. I hadn't thought about "your loss" as being cocky.

IP: 24.205.233.151

Giovanni Casanova

Master Don Juan
posted 02-27-2002 10:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Giovanni Casanova   Click Here to Email Giovanni Casanova     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by nibun:
So today I asked her after class if she wanted to do something fun on Thursday night. And she just replied: "I'm sorry, I'm going to be really busy with homework."

YOU: Would you like to do something fun on Thursday?
HER: I'm sorry, I'm going to be really busy with homework.
YOU: Oh, I see, you don't like doing fun things.

*********

YOU: Would you like to do something fun on Thursday?
HER: I'm sorry, I'm going to be really busy with homework.
YOU: Geez, at least make your transparent excuses a little more believable, like 'I'm going to be shampooing my neighbor's cat' or something.

*********

YOU: Would you like to do something fun on Thursday?
HER: I'm sorry, I'm going to be really busy with homework.
YOU: I really admire your resolve. Most girls wouldn't be able to pass up a fun evening with me just to do homework.


------------------
CASANOVA

"You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you."
Eric Hoffer

"I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it."
Voltaire

"Before we set our hearts too much upon anything, let us examine how happy those are who already possess it."
Francois de La Rochefoucauld

IP: 64.12.101.153

nibun

Don Juan
posted 02-27-2002 10:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for nibun     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Casanova, those responses are just what the Dr ordered! Thanks.

[This message has been edited by nibun (edited 02-27-2002).]

IP: 24.205.233.151

T Dog

Don Juan
posted 02-28-2002 12:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for T Dog     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Giovanni Casanova, get stuff as usual!

T Dog

IP: 205.174.8.4

ESPN

Master Don Juan
posted 02-28-2002 01:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ESPN   Click Here to Email ESPN     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
YOU:I am more fun than your homework.

YOU:Ahhh, next time say something more clever, like 'my dog is sick'".

PS: Its easy to us create this kind of lines, but when we talking we have less than 1 sec to think, funny doesnt??

IP: 200.204.154.235

XANEUS

Master Don Juan
posted 02-28-2002 07:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for XANEUS     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
First off... Casanova's lines are extraordinary... but I thought I'd throw this in anyway.

I did this the last time I got an excuse (and hers was more serious... boyfriend), and it got a pretty good response:

Wince as if in pain, shake your head at her, and say "Ooooh... bad decision!" in a didactic (like a teacher instructing a student oh his errors) sort of way.

This puts her on the defensive and regains the initiative.

Here's how the conversation went from there...

Her: Oh... Don't Say that! (Laughing and then in a sort of pleading way)

Me: Well okay, what am I supposed to say? "good call, you don't want to hang out with a guy like me anyway ?" Obviously I thought it was a good idea or I wouldn't have called you.

Her: Okay, so put yourself in my place, what would you do?

Me: Me... I'd say, well, I have a boyfriend but you're obviously a really cool guy so I'd still definitely like to get together if you're okay with that... That's what I'd say, but it's your decision and I respect that. Have a nice weekend. I'll talk to you later.

I didn't get a date out of it obviously, but now when I see her, she's the one who initiates conversation and feels like she has something ot make up for. I judged her actions and she allowed me that privelidge, therefore I got my power back.

At least that's how I interpreted it. What do you all think?

IP: 131.194.72.50

the graphics guy

Don Juan
posted 02-28-2002 07:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for the graphics guy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Casanova's comebacks are great, but as ESPN points out, there is usually very little time for us to think up something quick like that. But oh that next time! (and there will always be a next time when some bee.otch blows you off with a lame-@$$ excuse.) I also loved "Oooh, bad decision!"

IP: 65.211.44.229

WildThang

Master Don Juan
posted 02-28-2002 07:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for WildThang   Click Here to Email WildThang     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by XANEUS:
First off... Casanova's lines are extraordinary... but I thought I'd throw this in anyway.

I did this the last time I got an excuse (and hers was more serious... boyfriend), and it got a pretty good response:

Wince as if in pain, shake your head at her, and say "Ooooh... bad decision!" in a didactic (like a teacher instructing a student oh his errors) sort of way.

This puts her on the defensive and regains the initiative.


I like this. I like it a lot.

quote:
Her: Oh... Don't Say that! (Laughing and then in a sort of pleading way)

I like it because this is the result: it oozes confidence, it shows you're in charge, that you can deal with a line like 'I have a boyfriend' without getting kicked in the gut by it. And also because you're now running the game and she's on the defensive.

This is what DJing is all about.

quote:
Me: Well okay, what am I supposed to say? "good call, you don't want to hang out with a guy like me anyway ?" Obviously I thought it was a good idea or I wouldn't have called you.

Her: Okay, so put yourself in my place, what would you do?

Me: Me... I'd say, well, I have a boyfriend but you're obviously a really cool guy so I'd still definitely like to get together if you're okay with that...


Very smooth. As you're saying it she'll be thinking and feeling it. And making her think 'If you're okay with that...' about spending time with you while *you're* making the approach is heading into genius territory.

quote:
That's what I'd say, but it's your decision and I respect that. Have a nice weekend. I'll talk to you later.

This is where I think it loses it. I think if you'd said nothing after 'If you're okay with that...' it would have put her on the spot and kept the pressure on.

IP: 172.191.146.219

nibun

Don Juan
posted 03-01-2002 12:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for nibun     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Xaneus: WOW! good one, and I couldn't have analyzed it better than WildThang. Yeah, I won't be able to think up of an original comeback that quick, but armed with these gems, I can take on most future rejections with CLASS.

IP: 24.205.233.151

CLOONEY

Don Juan
posted 03-01-2002 12:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for CLOONEY   Click Here to Email CLOONEY     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
hahahahahahaha, that is damn good work XANEUS, if you really said this you must have a damn good mind, and a lot of confidence!!!!!!

IP: 203.29.91.69

Aztec

Master Don Juan
posted 03-01-2002 12:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aztec   Click Here to Email Aztec     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
I was being a bit AFCish, and said "oh, ok that's cool" and left.

What you verbalized to her was fine. It depends on how you said it.

Did you look like you felt sorry for yourself? Or worse, did she see you looking sorry for yourself?

Now let's stop analyzing this and you should move on to the next one. When she sees you with another girl, she will realize she might just loss her turn (that if she even gives a rat's a$$ about you). Regardless, find another chick!

[This message has been edited by Aztec (edited 03-01-2002).]

IP: 24.47.163.102

XANEUS

Master Don Juan
posted 03-01-2002 01:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for XANEUS     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
So for an alternative finish...

How about:

That's what I'd say... but you've made your decision, and now you've got to live with it. I'll talk to you later.

What do you think on that one Wild Thang?

IP: 131.194.72.50

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