posted 07-08-2001 03:33 PM
How to Handle Rejection From WomenRejection, rejection by a woman, rejection by the woman, the woman who
has captured your thoughts, the woman whose smile sends shivers of
warmth down your spine, the woman whose touch you dream of ... this
icy doom fills you with dread. It is the utter desolation of
helplessness. It is the worm of self-doubt. It is the gripping fear
that warns you to abandon hope.
Rejection is a part of everyday life. People are turned down for
raises, refused promotions, declined for loans, and passed over for
recognition. Rejection is not final. Rejection is not ruin. Indeed,
rejection can be the precursor to eventual success.
There is nothing personal about rejection. It happens to everyone.
It is part of "the cost of doing business". It is intimately
connected with risk taking. Every worthwhile endeavor at some point
involves the risk of failure. This is what makes life interesting.
It is only by risking our persons from one hour to another that we
live at all. And often enough our faith beforehand in an uncertified
result is the only thing that makes the result come true.
Consider a rejection as a "second opinion" of sorts. The woman who
rejects you might well have sounder judgment in the matter of a
possible relationship than you. She may have compelling reasons for
her conclusion that you are ill suited for each other, saving the both
of you a great deal of future grief. This does not, of course, mean
you are worthless as a person, just that she was not meant for you,
and that you should find someone else.
There are techniques that can remove some of the sting from the fear
of rejection. Simply "scoping the situation out", proceeding in small
steps, rather than taking the grand plunge all at once is a prudent
method of risk management. Asking a woman you have just met to become
intimately involved with you is an enterprise almost certain to fail.
Asking her to share five minutes over a cup of coffee is a more modest
proposal, one much more likely to meet with her approval (after that,
she may hint, or even let you know outright if she is willing to go
farther). Tackle tricky situations in small increments.
When you do face rejection, and you will, accept it with good cheer.
Bounce back and try again (presumably with a different woman).
Continued life experience will desensitize you to the trauma of having
doors slammed in your face. You learn to survive. You learn to go
on. You learn to keep trying.
Since everything in life is but an experience perfect in being what it
is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection,
one may well burst out in laughter.
Don Diebel www.getgirls.com
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"Women. They've got half the money in the world and all the pu$$y."