Pook
Senior Don Juan
Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Nirvana
Posts: 258 |
Everything of success is in how you think. Control your mind and you control your destiny.
I don't know exactly where I got the following article, but it illustrates why women tend to be drawn toward this sort of thinking.
quote:
HOW AVERAGE GUYS CATCH BEAUTIES
MEN like Manhattan journalist Steve Vames can relate to "The Tao of Steve," a new filmabout an ordinary-looking guy who scores with women the way Tiger Woods drives a golf ball. Vames, 30, is not a conventional babe, but his young girlfriend Sneha Raja most certainly is. She looks like a model with perfect skin, dark eyes and satiny hair. She's Indian. She's smart. She's thin. "I didn't think I had a chance with her," Vames says. "I'm very regular. I used to think a hot guy would sweep her away from me, but we've been together for three years. A lot of people look at me and look at Sneha and wonder what's going on there." Like "Tao" hero Dex, with his "Zen" lady-slaying philosophies, the charming Vames and many other regular New York guys have discovered their own secrets to making women swoon - without killer looks. Vames has short, somewhat receding, frizzy blond hair, thin lips and a slight build. He is sweet but unassuming. He dresses like a gas station attendant -
****ies and button-down shirts, which are always untucked. But he has a surefire method for snaring women: feigning disinterest. "I'm not wimpy," he says. "But I wouldn't hit on a girl on the subway or pass someone my number in a bar. I pursued Sneha by not making a move on her - for years. It was Zen-like. And eventually, she mauled me," Vames recounts. The average-looking lady-killer is everywhere.
He may not be the best-looking kid on the block, but he's no eyesore either. He
has a decent job, but he's not treating you to Ducasse. He went to an average
state school, where he was a C student.
He has an average body. He has an average life. He never tries to impress the
women, but he always gets the girl.
The good-looking guys slide by on their looks. The rich guys have the allure of
the green. But the average guy can master a formula compensating for his shortcomings.
Witness Ross and Rachel of "Friends," Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovett, and, of
course, Dex of "The Tao of Steve."
Dex's all-powerful dating theory relies on Buddhist-type principles, which he
aptly coins, "The Tao of Steve," refering to the likes of Steve McGarrett on
"Hawaii-Five-O," Steve Austin on "The Six Million Dollar Man," or Steve McQueen
in just about anything. The Tao is as follows:
* Eliminate desire.
* Do something excellent in her presence, thus demonstrating your sexual worthiness.
* After you've eliminated desire, after you've been excellent with her, retreat and she will pursue you.
The artsy flick is based on the real-life antics of Duncan North, a 36-year-old, overweight, self-proclaimed average dude from Santa Fe with an endless supply of girlfriends.
North discovered his chick-******ing m.o. by mistake, when he was 16 and hanging out with friends at a bar.
"My friends, who were taller and thinner and better looking than me were hitting on beautiful women like 60-year-old men, saying things like, ‘Oh, you're so pretty,' ‘You have nice hair,' and ‘You're so smart.' So I went with the desireless approach."
Then he "proved to be excellent" by making good conversation with one woman. "After that, I left to go outside and have a cigarette. Five minutes later, she
came out to give me her number."
He perfected his Eastern-influenced technique over years, but stopped consciously using the Tao by his mid-20s.
"Now I just find that if I talk about stuff that I care about and I'm real, girls dig it."
It obviously works: "My friends will tell you that I score right and left and all the time," he says, adding that he's currently casually dating a few women.
His philosophy, as warped as it may sound to some, clearly makes sense to many women - and men who espouse it. He's not offensive and he doesn't come with an obese ego.
"When I deal with women, I don't think I have anything to lose," says another average guy, a husky, 43-year-old Manhattan producer who did not want his name published. "My seductiveness is that I don't approach women with an ulterior
motive. Women can sniff an ulterior motive a mile away and they don't like it. I rely on my conversation skills. I know how to talk the talk and women respond
to that.
"I'm not the Robert Redford of any room," he concedes, "so when I enter a bar, women won't flock to me. But if I meet them at a party or through a friend, I can get a date out of it. I may not have the looks or the body, but I'm funny and smart."
Rob Giniger, a 30-year-old account executive for a software company, deploys "subtle flirting, not coming on too strong."
Giniger says that although he's "mediocre," he has no problem elevating any relationship from friendly and casual to sexual and romantic once he starts hanging out with a woman.
Giniger, a New Jersey resident who's funny, not cheap and dresses well, dates
about once a week.
"You could be a bald guy who's 5-foot-6 and say nothing and you could also be the same guy who's funny and confident, hence, attractive to women," he explains. "Women are looking for a guy who's reliable and cool and you could be that and average at the same time."
But if all a man has to do is play his "reliable," "cool," "good conversationalist," and "funny" card to successfully woo and conquer, then how can the average woman tell if the average guy is genuine or just acting like a
Steve?
Well, if the average guy is solely putting on an above-average act, chances are, he'll slip sooner or later.
As North says, "Faking it is fine, but only for so long. Even in the movie, my character breaks. Because in the end, the guy who's just playing a role is only cheating himself."
This is how it goes for me:
* Eliminate desire.
I don't need women, they need me. I don't buy them drinks, they can buy ME a drink IF they play their cards right. They can ask me out and I'll accept only IF they match my requirements and are on good behavior.
* Do something excellent in her presence, thus demonstrating your sexual worthiness.
I'm a fast, industrious worker which seems to get attention from my female co-workers. (I suppose I have demonstrated a VALUE to them that makes me worthy)
* After you've eliminated desire, after you've been excellent with her, retreat and she will pursue you.
Don Juans don't 'hit' on girls, rather, girls 'hit' on Don Juans. The girls wonder why I'm not hitting on them like every guy there so I piqued their curiosity and challenge factor. The women then smile seductively and start chasing you!
The article explains, I think, WHY and HOW you get women chasing you. Don Juans don't 'chase' women, they ATTRACT them. Why? Because Don Juans don't NEED women, women, rather, need Don Juans.
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Pook
"As you think, you shall become."
"Men will be nice when nice guys get laid."
__________________
POOK
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